Another rotation behind me! I really enjoyed diagnostic services. Most of it was clinical pathology, which I like because it's pretty much just a puzzle you have to figure out and the clinicians were all great to work with. Lots of microscope time which hurt my eyes after a while, but I feel like I developed some good clinical skills as well as problem-solving abilities (read: I re-remembered everything we learned the first few years of school...)

Up next is small animal medicine, which I'm dreading more than a little. It is a notoriously difficult rotation, not all that different than the small animal surgery rotation that just ate my life for three weeks. I'm really not looking forward to early mornings and middle of the night phone calls, even if I do learn a lot.

But I still have two days before the madness begins. I'm going to attempt to make it an even mix of productivity (cleaning my apartment, starting my clinical conference paper) and relaxation (finishing "Salem's Lot" by Stephen King, sleeping in). The next three weeks also hold some things to look forward to: awards night, opening of the Match for applications and the buddy potluck dinner are all happening, which means I have one big thing to look forward to each week.

After small animal medicine finishes up, I have three one week rotations and then one last three week block. Then Danny comes to pick me up and I head for home for good! So nine more weeks of internal rotations, nine more weeks of long distance marriage, nine more weeks of no Chipotle...I hope it goes quickly :)

Over the last week, a lot of things have been teaming up to start overwhelming me: upcoming residency applications, my clinical conference presentation, homework for my rotation, an issue with my student loans and a million other little things that needed done. Yesterday, I was dangerous close to just bursting into tears. I felt like there was too much to do in too little time. Despite having kept myself together even through the most grueling of my clinical rotations thus far, I was letting the stress take over more and more of my thoughts. I wasn't sleep well, I was thinking of worst-case scenarios for every little thing.

After dithering around feeling sorry for myself yesterday morning, I got my shit together. I made a to-do list and just started working through it. I accomplished a lot yesterday, and I feel better today. I still have things that need to be done, and deadlines looming, but just making a list and starting into it helped me to feel more in control.

Some of the things I accomplished over this last week have included registering for my NAVLE (licensing exam) and applying to graduate. I've also been looking through programs posted on the Match website, and while the list is not yet complete, I've narrowed down some of my options. Everything is becoming more real with every passing day. I have a lot to accomplish this semester before I go home, and I hopefully have some residency interviews to plan for when I do get home. And already it's nearing the end of September! But remembering how efficient I can be when I set myself to it makes me feel a bit better. One to-do list at a time.

At long last: the weekend. Not just "a" weekend, but The Weekend: my first weekend in a month that I've had no responsibilities other than those assigned by my own conscience. (My mother remarked on the phone that it was like I was in medical school or something! Sigh.)

A month behind on all domestic responsibilities adds up quickly. My laundry has long outgrown the mesh baskets it usually inhabits until it can be cleaned and has puddled on the floor beside the over-stuffed aforementioned hampers. My dishes are all dirty - every last one of them. (I ruthlessly culled any semblance of excess when I made the last trip back North and have five each bowls, plates, spoons, forks and knives. I have one mixing bowl, one skillet, one saucepot, one pair of tongs, one spatula and one serving spoon. My splurges are one can opener, one cutting board and three - gluttony, I tell you! - kitchen knives.) The floors need a date with the vacuum desperately.

For all that I hope to accomplish this weekend, I will have to do it all over again in two weeks time in preparation for my last overly demanding rotation (or so I hope): small animal medicine. Like surgery, it will consume every last waking minute I have and I have no doubt that the chaos that is my little apartment will soon rear its ugly head again. But for now, on quiet Diagnostic Services, I can regather the pieces at leisure.

I was looking at the calendar the other day, and thinking about everything ahead of me:

One month until our awards ceremony where I get my Honor Roll certificate and unknown award(s).

One week after that, the Match opens and I can view programs and start submitting my materials.

Two weeks after that, lab animal materials are due (eek).

Two weeks after that, I have my clinical conference presentation.

Three weeks after that, Danny comes to pick me up and I leave Canada for good!

Two weeks after that, I take my NAVLE. Then I have Christmas break and can relax a bit.

In early January, externals begin. I should hear if I passed the NAVLE or not around this time.

In early February, Match Day!

In early May, graduation!

It seems like such a long time away until I find out what my future looks like, at least for the next few years. But when I break everything down like this, it looks like everything will absolutely fly by! I've always been a big planner and I love lists but I haven't really had to make one since I was getting my stuff together to apply to vet school. Another chapter is fast approaching and I'm excited to see where Danny and I end up :)

I am so close to being done with surgery! I've been so exhausted these last few weeks, and I'm sure I've been complaining way too much to anyone in my vicinity, but I'm almost there. I have to go in to medicate and walk my patient tonight and then go to rounds tomorrow morning to pass him off to the next student on the next rotation and then I'm free....just in time to start my next rotation, diagnostic services.

The good news is, diagnostic services requires no patient care or paper work, which are the biggest time sinks in the medicine and surgery rotations. I hear we have homework and stuff, but we don't start until 8:30am, we get a lunch break and we finish at a decent hour. I'm really looking forward to having time on the weekends to get my apartment in order, work on stuff that needs done and repay my friends for being so understanding this last block.

Despite the demand of surgery, I've been making decent headway on my fall to-do list. I've been churning through NAVLE stuff and have even manged to get some work done on my match application, which opens in a little over a month's time! I still haven't really touched my clinical conference thing but I'm contemplating changing topics from a case study to something completely different that I'm more interested in. I'd love to do an exotics topic but haven't had the chance to see any exotics just yet, so it's a bit tricky. We'll see, but I do need to decide soon, eek.

Labor Day is always the unofficial end of summer so I gave my blog an overhaul in honor of autumn. My holiday weekend was spent in the teaching hospital or in bed/the couch studying for boards. It's a glamorous life, for sure.

I guess the thing is, somewhere in the last few weeks especially, I've actually begun to feel like a doctor. I don't pretend to know everything (or - let's be honest - most things) but I realize that I am able to do a lot of doctor stuff without depending on my clinicians: assessing a patient, making up a treatment plan, communicating with owners. For all that I ask stupid questions or forget the most obvious things, I definitely know things. It's crazy to think that in a few months I'll be done my rotations at school and begin my external rotations in the things that interest me most (lab animal and exotics). I've gone through a couple drafts of personal statements for the Match and if there's one thing I can talk about ad nauseum, it's my career goals. I know how I want to use this education and degree to start me on the path to the things I really want to do. Because being a veterinarian is really only the beginning of the plans I have for myself. I'm excited to get this first hurdle (getting my DVM) under my belt, but I'm definitely enjoying the ride.