Most of the time, I feel relatively ambivalent about vet school: I don't hate it and I don't love it. Every once in a while, usually when I get to participate in an awesome wet lab or attend a unique lunch lecture, I feel a little jolt because I remember that I'm going to be a veterinarian, which is what I have wanted for as long as I can remember. And it's a nice feeling, knowing that your hard work will pay off in the end and hopefully you'll get to do something that you can tolerate and maybe even make a difference.

The past few days, though, I've felt the opposite. I've been struggling a lot on my suture patterns in surgery (decision to never ever be a surgeon, ever: confirmed) and I've been up to my eyeballs in notes and study guides for midterms and the rest of my life (oh you know, my wedding...) has been lapping at my heels. I feel stressed and irritable and I just want the semester to be over and to go home and quit for a few months. I feel a little panicky that maybe there are other, easier things out there that I could (should?) be doing instead of becoming a vet. But honestly, even if there was something else, I've gone too far to turn back now. So I'll just keep plugging along, studying and stressing, because it's what we do. And I'm sure there will be a day or an experience or something that will make me smile a little and give me that jolt back in the right direction.

To end on a more optimistic note, I made eggplant parmesan for dinner. It turned out well, except there is a wee bit too much tomato sauce. It would be best if I had some pasta to put it over- I was hoping it would be a bit more like a casserole. Yay, vegetarian recipes!

Resolutions by the Month update

I went to an extremely insightful lunch lecture before break given by a Canadian Food Inspection Agency veterinarian on animal welfare. I expected to go to it and hear all about how society is becoming more aware of animal welfare and how welfare concerns are present but that the CFIA is handling them and making things better every day [insert sunshine and unicorns]. The veterinarian, who practiced for a few years before joining CFIA, had always been an animal welfare advocate. She became a CFIA vet and was very committed to welfare and was very bold about her beliefs. She joined a CFIA task-force thing and is currently working solely to improve animal welfare of the millions (billions?) of animals we as a world consume.

She shared numerous pictures and stories that were absolutely heart-breaking. There were some positive points- like how prosecution has been successful and things are moving in the right direction- which was encouraging. But it was such an eye-opening fifty minutes and impeccably timed to coincide with my February goal of eating less meat.

The lecture had a profound impact on me. I thought about her lecture for days. My knee jerk reaction was to never touch another animal product again because I can't stand the idea that so many animals suffer during transporation to slaughter alone (nevermind some on-farm experiences and slaughter experiences). Unlike some vegetarians or vegans, I don't have a problem with killing or eating animals- how it happens is where I get hung up. I haven't done near enough research on nutrition to commit to a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle cold turkey (or should I say tofu? Har har har.) but it's something that is absolutely on my mental radar a lot.

I've been doing decently well on February's resolution to eat less meat. I didn't do so hot on break (with Danny) mostly out of laziness/convenience. But now that I'm back home it's a bit easier and I've found a bunch of recipes that I'm eager to try. Brainstorming for March's resolution but I think this one is going to stick with me for a while.

Back in action

Sorry for the long absence- we had our semester break from Feb 14th-18th.

Anyway, I met up with Danny in Portland, Maine on Thursday evening. We had Chipotle for dinner (it was Valentine's Day but we aren't big into celebrating things like birthdays, Valentine's Day or our anniversary) and it was amazing as usual but especially so after going for months without Mexican food of any kind! We had a busy Friday, first taking the ferry to Peak's Island in the Casco Bay. The island was kind of just like a little floating chunk of suburbia with houses, a school, a few cafes and some toursity stuff. Unfortunately almost nothing was open (I should have known better, living on a highly tourist-driven island during the off season...) So we walked around and just looked at the houses and then had lunch at an excellent little restaurant before heading back. That night we went to the Portland Museum of Art (free admission and free parking - woo!) for a few hours because Danny wanted to go on a "civilized date". After wandering around for about an hour (and about an hour of my new flats making my feet hurt) we went to dinner at a nice restaurant in the city. Danny got some kind of flu thing on Saturday so we didn't do much and then Sunday the roads were a mess from a winter storm that passed through. We did manage to get our rehearsal dinner invitations printed and cut and we finalized the men's outfits for the wedding. It was nice to get something accomplished. The drive back on Monday wasn't bad until I hit Canada- the roads were mostly just messy and half-plowed; when I got back onto the island it had started to snow again and was getting dark so I was glad I made it back relatively early.

I've begun to cough and feel feverish today which is a bad, bad sign for midterms starting on Friday. I have a bunch of things to do even aside from studying so I'm feeling a tad overwhelmed right now. Not sure if I will be updating frequently until after midterms, but honestly, any update I made would basically just read "Midterms, bleh." So perhaps that's a good thing!

Weekend.

As predicted, our little island is being pummeled by a snow storm this weekend. It snowed all day yesterday and has been snowing all day today. The wind is really bad so there's like, four feet of snow in front of my house but barely any on the drive way. I've shoveled at least five times only to have it get covered up again- grrr.

Fortunately I got out of the house Friday night- dinner at an amazing local burger joint (run by students from the other university on the island) followed by a hockey game at the school. Our team won 5-1, but it was a pretty rough match. The rest of the weekend I've been stranded inside, mostly reading. However, I realized this morning that I have a midterm exam on Wednesday so I started studying today. Whoops. On Thursday I leave the island and head for Portland, Maine where I'm meeting up with my fiance for our semester break. So excited to see him.

Wonder if school will be canceled tomorrow?

Missing a friend.

Last weekend I was at a home get together with some friends. One girl has an albino cornsnake that she adopted last semester (from the school's teaching program actually!) and was telling us about how it had decided it no longer wanted to live in its little snake hut and burrowed in the shavings instead. Today in toxicology, we were discussing snake venom and the specifics of the snakes, their behavior and signs of a snakebite toxicosis in a pet, etc.

All this talk of reptiles reminds me (always has and always will) of a really close friend of mine, Nick. We met when I was a high school student interning at the small animal clinic where he was employed. Although different ages, we quickly became friends and spent a lot of time working together and partying together. Nick had graduated from Maryland, where I was doing my undergraduate work, and came back to take an extra class; consequentially we spent a few nights a week together at the dining hall just hanging out and talking. Nick was super passionate about herptology (the study of reptiles) and was working on his most recently application to veterinary school. He'd been rejected something like six times, but it never stopped him. He finally got into St. George's in Grenada and was well on his way to becoming a brilliant herp vet. We worked together last summer while I was home on summer break at the same small animal hospital; I still remember a particular amazing complete spinal radiograph we did together. He agonized over a perfect shot while I sweated and cursed in my lead gown. A visiting radiologist said it was the nicest spinal radiograph he'd ever seen!

While home on winter break, I had my bridal shower. A lot of the ladies from the small animal clinic attended and one in particular said that Nick was back home too and that I should come and visit him, that it would cheer him up to see me. I didn't go to the office Christmas party that night because Danny's family was in town for the shower, but I planned to stop by during the week.

Decemeber 19th, a few days later, Nick died suddenly. My heart is still broken. But whenever I hear Brad Paisley on the radio or someone is talking about some crazy reptile, I can't help but smile.

Whew!

Sorry for disappearing for a few days there, it's been so busy! February has been going well so far- let's break it down by subject so I have some chance over covering everything...

Superbowl... Many people have been approaching me congratulating me on the Ravens win in the Superbowl. I know why this is happening- I'm from Maryland, after all- but I just have to chuckle. What most people don't understand is that Maryland is a mixture of fans. There are those who are Baltimore Ravens fans and those who are Washington Redskins fans. Being raised a Redskins fan, I never cheered for the Ravens (although I never bore them any ill-will either, since the two teams aren't in the same division.) To be honest, I didn't care who won the Superbowl- I was glad to see a team from my state win, but I like the 49ers a lot, so eh. I thought it was a pretty good game, and that's what really matters.

Weather shenanigans... It snowed all day Sunday here, so I spent the majority of the day reading and being worthless. We got quite a bit of snow- probably 8 inches? I dunno- and I was hopeful that I would get to sleep in on Monday (as is everyone who stays up late to watch the Superbowl. It's the most taken-off day of work back home in the States!). Monday morning came, overcast, snowing, windy and cold, and I rolled over and called the campus hotline to check about school. Operating as normal!? I couldn't believe it. Eventually I dragged myself out of bed and to school, calling the hotline one last time in the vain hope that school would be cancelled. (I would have stayed home, but anesthesia was our first class and its a tough one so I didn't want to miss it.) The moment I walked in the front doors of the school at 8:25am (class starts at 8:30am), there was a PA announcement that school was now cancelled.

I was livid. My classmates were livid. The employees were livid. Everyone at UPEI (except whoever's stupid decision it was to wait so flipping long) was livid. I had driven in to school through the snow and the wind on awful roads just to have to turn around again! Fortuantely I made it home safely (and went back to bed, haha) and had yet another worthless day.

School... Nothing much exciting to report. Classes are busy but continue to be really interesting material-wise. I'm still terrified of surgery (and I think the surgery professors should be terrified that I'm going to be allowed to operate on something!) but I'll get through it. Our semester break is next Thursday through Monday and I'm going to meet up with Danny in Portland. SO excited for that.

February resolution...is going really well! The vegetarian chili I made last Friday (and subsequently froze) is amazingly good. I had meat in the frozen dinner I had last night, but I'm permitting myself three meals containing meat per week (at least thus far...I may attempt to lower even that!) so it's still in keeping with my resolution. I also did two things that could fit into my January resolution today, so I feel really good about that too :) I'm considering adding one vegan day per week just to force myself to experiment with more recipes but that may be more than I can handle just now. Maybe I will procrastinate my clinical pathology assignment and look for recipes...

Snow

There's a reason they call Canada the Great White North. Today, whoever is in charge of the weather (God? Physics? The weather man?) decided to remind me of that reason- it's been snowing since I woke up to let Ella out around 7:30 this morning.

When I was a kid, snow was always magical. The minute it started snowing, every set of eyes in the classroom would be on the window and whispers of early dismissal were rampant. We got snow days and got to sleep in, go sledding and dry off in front of the fireplace with hot chocolate. Up in Canada, it's different. If it starts snowing during school, you're dreading the drive home (because for some reason, PEI drivers forget that they've ever seen snow before); if it starts snowing in the evening, you fret about the roads being clear enough to get in to school the next day. One of our snow days last year was officially called at like, 10am. We start class at 8:30! Most people figured it was coming and stayed home, but there were students who braved the bad weather and dangerous roads to get in. It doesn't help that I live roughly 12 miles outside of town: the plows stop actually plowing a few miles from school and just do a bit of careless scraping and top it all off with metric tons worth of salt and sand.

We're expecting ~8 inches, last I heard. Fingers are crossed for a snow day tomorrow, but I don't get my hopes up. I'll spend the afternoon prepping for our surgery lab, cleaning up the house and getting ready to watch the superbowl (!!!) tonight. I feel like I need to root for the Ravens since they're from my hometown, but the Redskins are actually my team. I've always liked the 49ers, though, so I honestly will be happy with either outcome, although my Facebook newsfeed will be a hot mess either way with so many friends back home being Ravens fans. Should be a good game!

Local happenings

PEI Seal Pup Deaths

I don't know that anyone actually reads this blog, but I figured I'd post this article anyway. Basically, some classmates and friends of mine came across a bunch of grey seal pups on the coast last weekend. They decided to come back the next day to photograph them because how freaking cute are baby seals?!

Imagine how they felt when they returned literally the next morning to find upwards of 50 of the pups dead. Not only dead, but killed; many of the pups were still alive (and suffering) upon discovery. The seal pups were sent to the Atlantic Veterinary College for necropsy by none other than one of my pathology professors, Dr. Daoust! What he discovered was that the seals had been killed by blunt force trauma (smashed up skulls, essentially). Pretty much someone(s) were out there whacking a bunch of helpless, adorable seal babies.

The community is pretty outraged, if the comments from the CBC articles are any measure. But fishing is just another form of agriculture up here, a way of life for a lot of people. They feel that the seals threaten their fish populations, driving down the supply and limiting the money they can make. Which is a real concern for these people, sure, aside from the possibility that they themselves are over-fishing and reducing the ability of the fish to thrive and continue to be at a reasonable density for fishing. But seriously, who decides the solution to that problem is to bludgeon a bunch of babies to death or near enough? I could go on and on about the sheer brutality of that sort of thing, but I won't. Just figured I'd make any passers-by of this blog aware of what's going on in my little corner of Canada, sad as it is.

$1,000 reward to information leading to a conviction, though. At least there's some incentive.