The best word to describe my surgery rotation is "consuming" - I'm at school for long hours, I'm responsible for my patient care (which has been quite intensive because of the type of cases) including calling owners twice daily, I have to be in at the same time each morning even if it's a weekend or a holiday, I have to work some late nights after a full day of rotation and I'm eyeball-deep in paperwork. I've had to miss out on social gatherings with friends, have barely done any NAVLE prep and my apartment looks post-apocalyptic. I'm hoping I have something clean to wear somewhere. When I do have a few hours off, I just want to sleep. Needless to say, I'm super jealous of the lower years who get to sleep in and have Labor Day off and go on pub crawls. And then I remember that I'm only three months away from getting to go home for good and it's just enough of a spark to keep me getting out of bed in the mornings.

On the upside, my rotation mates have been awesome and the clinicians and techs that I work with are so helpful and supportive. I got a notification that I won some award(s) and made the dean's list, which is really nice but I have to wait until the awards presentation night in early October to find out what I won. My NAVLE prep is going a bit better than it had been and I've made a tiny bit of headway on my match prep, too. I'll just keep looking for the positives while I slog through surgery and start salivating at the prospect of sleeping in when I'm on diagnostics next!

It feels weird not to be starting class again tomorrow with the rest of the school. Instead of the first day of school, tomorrow is just another Monday on rotations. I'd obviously rather be down in the clinic doing hands-on stuff instead of sitting through hour after hour of Powerpoint lecture, but it's definitely a strange feeling to see all of the back to school posts floating around!

Now that school is beginning, I'm starting to look ahead to what I need to accomplish this "semester". Since I like lists to keep me organized, here it is:

• Study for the NAVLE. I'm planning to take my veterinary licensing exam after I get back home, hopefully early to mid-December. I wanted to take the exam up here and then go home without the need to study hanging over my head, but my school won't be offering it until December and I don't want to have to pay rent just to take the darn test. So I'll head home at the end of November, study for a week or two and then take the test. At least I'll have it over with by Christmas!
• Prepare my application for the Match. The Veterinary Internship and Residency Matching Program (VIRMP) opens to applicants on October 15th. Lab animal programs require submission of materials early November, giving me just about two weeks to fill out my information, submit transcripts, corral my letters of recommendation writers and put in my personal statement/letter of intent. Then (fingers crossed) I should hear back shortly for phone interviews and in-person interviews over the winter months. Match Day is February 9, 2015 at 8:00am EST!
• Put together and present my Clinical Conference case. I have one planned tentatively, but part of me wants to change it to a topic presentation about something that interests me more. Obviously this whole thing needs a bit more thought...

So that's my fall semester in a nutshell. It doesn't look so intimidating when it's broken down into three bullet points, but I know it's going to be a lot more work than it looks! Here's to hoping I can also keep up with rotations, laundry and keeping my apartment liveable at the same time.

Last night, I left school around 7:30pm. I had just finished my treatments for the night, which went longer than planned as I had to clean out the poop-smeared kennel of an isolation patient, rebandage her poop-smeared leg and other such niceties while my clinicians went out for beers. On my way out, one of my favorite clinicians from my large animal medicine rotation held the door open for me. "Just came from the coating ceremony," she told me.

Three years ago, I attended my own coating ceremony. There was no poop on my clothing, I didn't smell like bleach and I hadn't just worked a twelve hour day. Hell, I think I had make up on! I listened to the dean of our school talk about the profession of veterinary medicine; noble, trustworthy veterinary medicine, a far cry from down on my knees in an isolation unit scrubbing feces off of stainless steel wearing my hot, cumbersome isolation unit gear. We were fed a nice dinner; last night, I scarfed McDonalds because I was too tired and didn't have enough time to cook. Danny and I walked up on stage together and he helped me into my blue coat, the tangible evidence of my entrance into veterinary school (with the promise of "DVM" in a few short years). I came home last night to a dark apartment, to talk to my wonderful husband over Facetime who misses me and is miserable and bored right now. At the coating ceremony, I was excited for the time to come; now, I count down the days until I'm done with this beast they call vet school.

And yet, the end of the day yesterday was one of only a few times in all these years that I've thought: I wish I wasn't here doing this (okay, that's a lie: I thought the same thing this morning when my alarm when off for me to go in to rounds, heh). The days are long, the paperwork is tedious, the responsibilities are numerous and poorly described, some people just don't like you because you're a student, some animals try to bite you while others just poop innocently and step in it and smear it everywhere, there are terrible, god-awful smells and there are heartbreaking cases.

But in the end, it's worth it to me. I hope the incoming classes of 2018 at vet schools across the country get their new coats and see them as a canvas to paint on, to muck up and stain and tear. That way, when you have a rough day, you can look down at your coat and know that at least you made a difference somehow, even if it was just by cleaning up a stinky kennel.

Since last posting, so much has happened!

First, and most importantly by far, Danny came to visit for our long weekend. I picked him up from the airport on Thursday night and we had a delightful time. We visited Victoria Park for a walk along the boardwalk, saw Guardians of the Galaxy (which I begrudgingly liked), strolled through the Charlottetown Yacht Club and sat on the end of a giant pier just watching the water traffic, walked along the beach despite the frigid water, browsed a local artsy-fartsy place, cooked dinner together and just enjoyed each other's company. His flight left early Monday morning at all of Monday was fittingly dreary and rainy.

I went back home and laid in bed drowsing for an hour before my alarm went off again. Companion animal surgery started at 8:15am. To call the day "hectic" would be a gross understatement. Fortunately, all of the clinicians, technicians, student workers and my peers on the rotation have been fantastic. Although I have zero desire to be a surgeon, I don't hate the rotation. I don't care for the lack of organization or the break-neck speed of it all, but I'm keeping my head above water. And all three of my patients thus far have be absolute loves to work with. One even got to go home this afternoon!

Now that I'm back to working with clients again, I'm finding that the communication is slightly different than what I experienced in community practice. In community practice, I was either following up with owners on test results (which were often normal) or providing a post-surgery update (which were often good). While I'm very fortunate to have had relatively healthy animals on surgery so far, there's definitely an element of stress and concern that I didn't really deal with on community practice. It's a constant learning experience but I've been lucky to have truly wonderful owners to work with thus far.

The autumn is shaping up to be a crazy one but I can't wait until the end of November when I get to go home for good. Not that I haven't been enjoying fourth year, because I really have, but I'm ready to head to my externals!

I started reading about the Ebola outbreak toward the end of third year. I waited for the panic to start up, the news articles to pick up a head of steam. It never really happened until two Americans who had contracted the disease were sent home to be treated at Emory. Now, articles about Ebola abound. My news feed, that wonderful social barometer, shows that now people care.

One thing having to do with the Ebola outbreak that hasn't been discussed in the capacity that it deserves? Animal research.

I know, I know, won't I ever get off this soapbox? But the drug being used to treat these two Americans was developed using animal models. First monoclonal antibodies collected from mice, then preliminary research on non-human primates. Two people are given the chance to survive a highly fatal disease and all anyone can blather about is whether or not Ebola can be transmitted through the air. (Okay, that's important to know. But you can bet the farm that the biosecurity measures in place at Emory are far past letting that little chance take root.)

Let's say those people recover. Let's say the drug that helped them, ZMapp, gets sent to people over in Africa. Let's say that drug quiets the storm, relieves the suffering, stops the outbreak. Will there be articles plastered over the front pages of prominent news sources? Will anyone say, "Gee, I'm really glad animal testing continues, so that we can develop cures for these awful diseases?" I doubt it. And that underlines the sad fact: people take research for granted. People want to protest "animal cruelty" and "animal testing". They want to free these animals from their research cages and give themselves a pat on the back for being so morally pristine. I don't argue that animal use in research can be improved. But look at the good it does! Those two Americans' families will have a chance to see their loved one again because of a drug tested on animals. Why can't people recognize that and embrace the good we can do with laboratory animals?

I had a moment of self-loathing last night.

Danny's name was brought up for a promotion - one that he has been overdue for for a long while. Unfortunately, he won't really be considered, despite all of his higher-ups thinking of him instantly, because there is the possibility that he will be moving away to follow me to residency.

I can't even tell you how heartbroken that made me feel. Danny is quite literally the hardest worker I've ever known. The man has only taken a sick day when he obliterated his ankle and couldn't walk the next day and when he's been seriously ill. He works long hours, he works hard hours and he doesn't complain. His coworkers and boss really like him and he deserves a promotion like, yesterday. To hear that he wouldn't be considered because of me, essentially, made me feel awful. He already sacrifices enough having me not be around for four years and now he can't even get a darn promotion.

I told him that I would drop all of my residency plans, only apply to the one local program and then to nearby jobs and I meant it with all of my heart. He has given up so much for me to be able to do my thing, career-wise, and now it's finally actually negatively impacted his own career, however small a ding that it may have been. I've never felt so selfish in all of my life. But of course he brushed it off, because he is the world's best husband, ever. I just don't know how I will ever repay him.

Bottom line, vet school requires sacrifices of all sorts. These sacrifices come in different shapes and sizes, but they come for just about everyone. I am so lucky that I have such an amazing husband and such a wonderful family back home. Just remember to treat the good ones in your life like the treasures that they are.

So week one of radiology is now over. I feel like this past week has been the fastest yet, despite the fact that this rotation has been my least favorite so far.

It isn't that I don't like radiology. I actually love radiology and considered it something I would want to do if I were so besotted with lab animal. But actually being in the clinics has dissuaded me. There is a lot of repetition - which is good for things like ultrasound, because at the beginning I could barely even orient myself in the squishy mass of grey things and now I can kind of identify organs. But one of the things I love so much about lab animal is that there is a ton of variety, not just in species but in stuff to do. Doing thoracic radiographs to check for metastasis and abdominal ultrasounds is only cool for so long.

Another thing is, you don't have a lot of influence or control over the patient. This means that your day's schedule really depends on the organizational skills of others and often leads to big chunks of time with nothing happening and then flurries of activity that require you to rush at least a little. This also means the animal comes to you, you take the pictures and make your suggestions and then...it goes away. You don't get to build a connection with the owners, plan treatment or anything. You can recommend things, but in general, if you're a specialized radiologist, you tell the surgeon where the lesion is or tell the medicine clinician what you see and they take that as a piece of their own puzzle. I dislike the lack of continuity, which is a very general practitioner thing for me to say, eek.

It's not a terrible rotation by any stretch of the imagination, but it's also not exactly what I was hoping for. On the other hand, my next rotation is companion animal surgery, so it could always be (and it will be...) worse!