I'm so close to surviving my first week of anesthesia. I can almost taste Friday evening when I get home and can stay up late reading because anesthesia doesn't require weekends! It's a steady rotation - a few cases each day with the same routine. I think it's been one of the most intense, though, because you're in charge of your patient under anesthesia. They need to be watched constantly and values recorded every five minutes. I get a fluttery panicky feeling when blood pressure goes too low or respiratory rate spikes. Having previous anesthesia experience in general practice has been immeasurably valuable - I'm confident placing catheters, hooking up monitors, giving drugs, restraining, etc. Nevertheless, knowing more has made me more nervous with it all, because I know what those numbers and beeps and squiggly lines actually mean in regards to the patient's life!

The rest of life is mostly background noise at this point. I miss Danny terribly despite being super busy all day, which hasn't been much of an issue before. I mean, I always miss him of course but it seems attacks of loneliness find me more frequently now, and even if I'm busy. I know it's only five more months up here until I can be home for good (and only five weeks until he visits!) but gosh can it be emotionally taxing. One foot in front of the other is all I can manage right about now.